I read the first few sentences, and I noticed HUGE mistakes:

1. Your grammar is aweful. Did you read it over?
2. Paragraphs.
3. For crying out loud, you spelled Ganondorf wrong!
3.5. Not only that, but you spelled other words wrong, too.
4. You didn't put much thought into it, did you?
4.5. Did you even read it once over after you finished it?

Wasn't this supposed to be like a novel? It only takes up a page and a half.

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