I have to say that I agree with Liquid Fire on this. It's certainly well-written out and wordly witty also, you definitely display creativity and a penchant for word play here. If I have to complain, paragraphing every now and again might be useful, perhaps once every four lines or so to break it up (yet still retain the sense of rhyme)

Other than that, I can't think of anything to disagree about it at all! How many of us I:SBer's feel the same way you do about this, I wonder?