
03-24-2008, 05:35 PM
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Evil Capitalist Ghoul
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Location: The Planet Venom
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Re: (Sf/Hor)The Stars and their Silence(T)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Spork
Certainly an interesting introduction, though a bit brief it's got me wanting the next instalment. A criticism is the use of 'it appeared to be...', given that the character presumably flew his spaceship already and knows it, he would already know that it IS a keypad or that it IS a communication device. 'It appeared to be...' would work better if a character unfamiliar with the technology was about to use it. It's a very minor quibble, but one that just stuck out to me.
Other than that I can't think of anything else, I'll definitely be looking forward to the next instalment!
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Thanks for the comment. I will either type up the next part tonight or tomorrow afternoon.
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