
03-05-2008, 09:19 AM
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Sage of Wisdom
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Location: At a computer. Duh.
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Re: Jokergirl
Alrighty then, let's get started.
Strengths, Weaknesses, Personality, Weapons, and Apperance: Expand, expand, expand. Don't just sum up everything as fast as possible, think of the profile as part of your character's story. Please, go into much greater detail about all of those mentioned. If you're having a hard time, I invite you to read one of my Character profiles.
Biography: Tell us more about her, Jokercity (and why it attracts jokers, etc), as well as why she has no memories of her town of birth. Moreover, the whole, 'Parents murdered, now seeks revenge' scenario is grossly cliche, I will allow it, but I suggest you at least try and think of a better backstory. If not, then make it original in some way. Speaking of which, using copyrighted materials, which you have used from Tales of Symphonia (my favorite RPG. ^_^) is allowed, but only to an extent. What you have right now is acceptable, just be more careful about that in the future. No councilors will accept blatent carbon copys of copyrighted characters. (Just as a tiny thing you should know)
Skills: There is no point system in the BA. Instead, desribe what the attack does, how it effects the target, and how it can be blocked. Furthermore, for a starting character she know far too many skills. In time you can add some, but not all of them at once, okay? (Once again, look at my characters for examples if you wish to)
Please fix, then I will come back and review.
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