
03-01-2008, 10:22 PM
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Šђịήїğǻмỉ
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Re: [Global History 10] My Rough Draft for my essay...
It's not bad, but it definitely doesn't cut it as an essay all on its own though. Not only do you need to have a clear, thought-out point you are trying to prove, or at least argue, but you need to find a way to tie your two economic systems together into the same or similar topics within the essay. A really simple topic to do would be something like "Communism is a better economic system than manorialism, as seen in Russia, a country which had both systems. Easy to show, easy to write about (provided you don't dislike Russia), and easy to get a good grade.
Also, step two, make it longer. A basic essay should have an introduction, in which you lay out your basic points, your paragraphs (there should be at least two. In grade 10, three is a good number of paragraphs), in which you explain your points, and your conclusion, in which you tie everything together and wrap it all up with a witty remark or quote for your closing sentence.
Step three, avoid using words like 'like', and avoid using random capatalizations, even if you are trying to emphasize a word. Use italics instead.
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