Okay, this is looking pretty decent for a first character. All I'd like you to do is describe the personality, strengths and weaknesses sections in a little more detail.

Personality: How does he react to certain types of people? How does he react to battle? What is he like when meeting new people?

Strengths: How is he effective in these situations? What physical attributes does he take pride in? Can he do magic? (You left out skills/magic, so I'll assume he can't, but I'd like confirmation) That sorta thing.

Weaknesses: How do all these weaknesses affect him? To what extent? What makes him particularly vulnerable to these things?

Those are the sort of things that I'd like to be answered.

Fix that up and I'll take another look. ^__^

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