Nice post. ^__^ There's only one major error I need to address before moving on to the nitty gritty.
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weirdo chamberpot (it was actually a toilet, but she doesn't know what a toilet is),
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Speaking of the floor, it was tiled and the color of sand, reminicent of her homeland.
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On these occassions, you breached the wall between writer and reader--you 'broke the narrative', as Safer would say.
In writing, this is a big no-no, although one that can easily be reprimanded. When you do this--along with something else I'll move onto in a second--you take the jump from the reader being in the story, to the reader being told the story. The latter is much better, and helps your writing's readability. Try to avoid that, and you'll be fine. ^^
Also:
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The room was small, but not so much as to be uncomfortable. Various weapons lined the wall to her left, and there were several different whips as well. Each weapon's handle was a rusty red, and all had at least one large sapphire embedded into it. The wall in front of her was a beautiful monochromatic mozaic, featuring a side-view of the gerudo clan marching proudly across desert sands. It seemed to be made of sapphire and blue topaz. There was a bed in the upper right corner, strange and unfamilar, for the mattress laid upon a stubby wooden structure, and did not seem to be made of straw, leaves, or any sort of uncomfortable material. Next to the bed was a stand, on top of which was some sort of cotton material... perhaps a bed for Reti? Nearby both beds was a rack of clothing, most of which were untattered variations of the tunic she now wore; the rest seemed to be bed clothing, and all of those were blue. In front of that rack were several pairs of boots and slippers, which seemed to be resting on a trap door. Speaking of the floor, it was tiled and the color of sand, reminicent of her homeland. Scattered around the room were stands with trinkets, handfulls of cut sapphires, and all sorts of odds and ends, all of which Lafami adored. When Lafami looked up at the ceiling, she saw another mozaic, this time of an overview of the Kokiri Forest, in full color.
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Large parts of this descriptive paragraph--although lovely--are what we call 'telling sentences'. Your writing shines through this, but is slightly restricted by it. 'Showing sentences', however, are much more suited to descriptive. It's the difference between writing a story and listing facts.
Telling sentences: "He was cold. He was soaking wet. He was fearful as the hand gripped his shoulder."
Showing sentences: "Water dripped from him like a rainstorm; the icy wind didn't do much to dry him, just keeping him frozen. His teeth were chattering, but not solely from the temperature, as he fear gripped him by the shoulder."
Not a particularly exciting description, but you can see how it betters the telling sentence, right?
Onto the smaller errors:
You shouldn't type in full caps to show enphasis, just italisize the word. It looks kinda sloppy otherwise. ^^
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"I am of the Domerii, the caretakers of The Dome." he explained
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That period should be a comma. : ]
If the aftertext pertains to speech, (he said, he asked, he yelled, he explained, etc.) then it should be a comma with a lowercase. If it's anything else, it should be a period with a capital.
Fix those up, then you can move onto this assignment:
IC:
"You must be Lafami," Heishuro said with a grin. "I'll be your teacher, Heishuro Maruchi."
Not waiting for a response, he slid past her in the doorway, admiring her room.
"Nice room you got here." Smiling, the fighter lifted one of the weapons off the wall casually. "I remember my dream room--a couple of martial arts magazines and a squashy armchair, hah! I s'pose it's what you're used to."
"Who," Odureg demanded slowly, "are you?"
"I'm your teacher!" the reddened warrior pressed enthusiastically. "Didn't the Domerii-" Stopping mid-sentence, his smile faded. "You were expecting someone a little older, weren't you?"
I could take that as a compliment... he mused, watching her reaction.
Just wrap it up and teach her! a mental voice yelled at him.
"Anyway..." Maruchi said, regaining his eagerness. "What do you say we get to work?"
OoC: Okay, that little IC portion was for you to see how Heishuro speaks, because I'd like you to host a conversation between the two.
Assignment: Have Heishuro lead Lafami to a cafeteria, and have them eat lunch. Centre the post around the dialogue, and try and drop in description every once in a while. Heishuro can explain any you'd like to Lafami. 500 word minimum--not that I'm afraid you won't exceed it. End the post with Heishuro telling Lafami to follow him.
Have fun. ^__^