My second parody. Hope you like it.


Chapter One- A Man or a Cuccoo?

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Deku Tree- Navi, oh Navi, dude, come, like, hither. We must, like, talk about the fate of Hyrule, and, stuff.

Navi- I am here, Deku Tree, as I have been my entire fricken life.

Deku Tree- Oh, right on, man, right on. Anyway, you must totally bring my, like, homeslice, Link, here. Then we can indulge in peaceful talk, ya’ know?

Navi- I here you, Oh Great One.

Deku Tree- Righteous. Now fly little dude, fly. The fate and stuff of Hyrule may lie in your hands.

Navi- I’m gone.

*With that, Navi flies to Link’s house.*

Navi (to herself)- Oh great. He’s asleep again.

Navi- WAKE UP, YOU ASS! THE GREAT DEKU TREE NEEDS YOU!!!!!

Link- Whaaaa?

Navi- GET UP, YOU FRIGGIN’ MORON!

Link- Will you shut up!? Just a second!

*Link sits up, yawns, and rubs his eyes.*

Navi- Now hurry. We must go to the Deku Tree so we can indulge in peaceful talk.

Link- I don’t want to indulge in any talk. I want to go back to bed.

Navi- You had better ****in’ get up now before I feed you to a Deku Baba!

Link- Fine, fine. I’m coming.

*Link stands up and the two head in the Deku Tree’s direction.*

Link- That idiot Mido is in the way again. He’s not gonna’ let us through.

Navi- He had better get out of the way, or I’m gonna shove a Deku Stick up his…

Link- Hey Mido, move aside. I gotta get through.

Mido- Link, you bastard. How’d you come across a fairy? Probably killed someone and took it from em’, right?

Navi- Shut up, Mido. I’m the Deku Tree’s second in command. So move aside before I feed you to a Deku Baba.

Mido- You wouldn’t. Not that you could.

Navi- Wanna’ bet?

Mido- Sure. You an’ me. One on…

Link- Stop it! Stop it! Someone might get hurt!

*Link runs away sobbing and hides behind a bush.*

Navi- Don’t tell me you’re a pacifist. Please don’t tell me you’re a freakin’ pacifist.

Link- Well…Sob…In….Sob…In a way, I guess….Sob….

Navi- Link! The fate of Hyrule may very well lie in your hands! There is going to be death, destruction, and blood…Lots and lots of blood… (Begins to cackle wildly).

Link- Eeeep!

Navi- Now get up. Are you a man or a cuccoo?

Link- *Gulp* A….Man. I’m a man. And I will do whatever is asked of me to serve my country, my people, and the justice of Hyrule. I will fight! I am no Cuccoo!

*Random Congregation of Kokiri Kids starts applauding.*

Navi- That’s the spirit!

Mido- Well, you’re still not getting through here, you son of a….

*Link stands up and punches Mido in the face, knocking him out cold.*

Link- Onward, Navi, onward! We must go to the Deku Tree!

Navi- First, can I feed Mido to a Deku Baba?

Link- No.

Navi- Fine, fine. But the time will come, Mido. The time will come when you fall before me! Muahahahahaha!

Link- Even though I am a man now, you still scare me.

*With that, the two head to the Deku Tree.*




Chapter Two- The Deku.

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*Link and Navi approach the Deku Tree, but are shocked with what they see.*

Navi- What the hell are you smoking?

Link- Is that a cigarette!?

Deku Tree- Ah, yes, my young hip friends. How, like, are thee?

Navi- First, you tell us why you’re smoking weed.

Deku Tree- Ah, like, yes. That is why I needed to, like, speak to you, Link. A tragic thing has happened to me…

Navi- We can see that.

Deku Tree- A totally, like, dark skinned desert man came, and, like, tried to take the spiritual green stone of the forest from me, man. I was all like, no way, so then he got me addicted to these little, like, hot tamales…

Link- And?…

Deku Tree- You must go, like, inside of me and destroy the totally evil being that was, like, also placed into me by the, like, desert man, Ganondorf.

Link- Trust me. Anything inside of your body has already died from second hand smoke.

Deku Tree- But dude… I thought you were, like, courageous and… stuff.

Link- If I’m going to die from smoke, it will be on the other side of the cigarette.

Deku Tree- Such logic, and, like, wisdom. You truly are the chosen hero. In my, like, dieing moments, I will bestow the totally mighty pebble upon you so you can, like, open the Door of Time and, like, stop Ganondorf.

Navi- Hold it. I thought it was a stone, not a pebble.

Deku Tree- It, like, was, but then I found when I, like, ground some of it up, it, like, smoked real good…

Link and Navi (in unison)- WTF?!?

Deku Tree- Here you, like, go, in the name of peace, homies. Use it, like, wisely.

Duuuuuun, Dun, Dun, Duuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!
You have gotten the Forest Pebble!!!
Smells like weed!

*Deku Tree shrivels and dies*

Navi- Can’t say I’m upset the old pervert is dead.

Link- Thats for sure. I thought my head was going to explode.

Navi- Anyway, we should figure out what to do next.

Link- Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll figure it out in the next chapter.



Please post any comments below! More sure to follow!

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Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.