Quote:
Originally Posted by Erimgard
A little better.
The problem is, if you're gonna have guest appearances like Mario and Luigi, you should make them actually have some importance.
|
Actually I think the way he used them was just fine. They added randomness to the chapter, but he could've used them in a better way though.
Quote:
|
And if I were you, I wouldn't use words like 'retard'. Can be found pretty offensive by some people.
|
Beware of the "R" word
yeah, 'retard' can be found really offensive by some people, so try not to use it much.
Quote:
|
Also, I'd have a little less of the 'Me:' in the parody. It's funny, but already starting to get over used in just 2 short chapters o.0
|
I was thinking the exsact same thing(great minds think alike
). If you want it to look better you should use "Dark Link!!!!!!" instead of "me"
Quote:
|
you're getting better, but put a little more thought into your jokes, and make the chapters longer. It's hard to develop good jokes when the chapters are so short.
|
That's the main problem with your parody Dark Link, IT'S TOO DAMN SHORT!!! try to make the chapters a little longer, it will be easier to develop better jokes that way. This chapter was slightly better than the last one (keep going, you're almost there) so take your time in each chapter, nobody is rushing you.