Not alot wrong with it as far as I can see.
Some grammar errors, and spelling mistakes. Maked should be made.
Also something that should be revised.
Original:
Quote:
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As the sunsetted, a tear dropped from my eye slowly began falling.
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Sunsetted should just be 'sunset'.
The bold part basicly repeats what you are saying. It sounds confusing. Mostly it reminds me of my habbit of getting distracted and straying off course.
It should read something like,
Quote:
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a tear slowly fell from my eye
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It sounds alot better when said aloud. Read both sentences aloud and compare how they sound.
You can alter the actual sentence anyway you want. I just wrote an example.
Other then a few spelling errors and grammar it sounds great and should be interesting. So keep up the work
