A great start, MnT! I really like like the direction it's heading.
Although, it is confusing which era it's in- TP, or OOT? After all, you have mentioned both Ordon and the Kokiri Forest. Or are you combining the too?
TRICKSTER's advice is what I was thinking, with the repeated words. Just watch out for that. Otherwise, I'll be able to give you much better comments once I see more of your work, which is typical.
Keep going!
