That last chapter was better than the others. Here's what you should do:

-SLOW DOWN. Like whatsistoes said above, that's your main problem. It's too rushed.

-Bold the names. If you use Word to type it up beforehand, just use Find>Replace and replace GL with [b)GL(/b] only with the right kind of parenthesis. Do that for all of the names.

-Write out the names. You could use Find > Replace to do that too, I suppose.

Other than that, it's pretty good. I think my first crack at writing a parody was a little better, but then I've always had perfect grammar :XD I also bolded my names and stole ideas from everyone, but no one seemes to notice. You have good humor, I liked the pickle thing; you just need to work on presentation.

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