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Old 01-17-2008, 03:18 PM
Szerenade Szerenade is offline
Sage of Wisdom
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
View Posts: 1,262
Re: [fF] [ZuNoWriMo] Gone with the Wind Sage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slur.exe
~Note: If the font I chose bugs you, please tell me right away.
How kind!

Quote:
...a droplet of water resonated in an altissimo pitch as it struck the floor of the roofless temple. As it reverberated, it voiced the cries and please that had accumulated over the centuries.
Those lines are stunning. Overall, you've painted a poetic picture with your prelude. I find it also kind of cool you call it a prelude and not a prologue.

Grammatical errors here:
Quote:
reverie-like state
reverie-like state

and here:
Quote:
cries and please
cries and pleas
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