Welcome, you losers old and young, to the homeroom of Silver! Remember all those wise words to be found in other homerooms, under other teachers such as Power Shot and Shrub? You will find absolutely
none of those here. Why? Because I am not wise, and besides that, I probably do not like you. The reason you want to learn from me, and not them, is because I am going to make fun of you, degrade your characters, and, most of all, because this is so damned funny that you are going to end up laughing blood out your nose.
That's right. You heard me. Laugh blood out your nose—that is what you are going to do.
If you want to train in my homeroom, post a training thread! But not just any training thread, because that would be far to easy. No, to train under my rules, you must post a training thread that has my name, your name, your character's name, and at least one random word in the title. Sounds easy, you say, but it gets harder. Your first test is to choose a random word that I have never heard of before! If you cannot do this, you are bumped to my lowest class. If you can do this, you are bumped to my highest class! And if, by some chance, you happen to realize that my lowest class and my highest class are exactly the same ... something special happens. Here is an example, as if I were applying to be trained by myself:
Silver Silver Blargmuffin.
As you may have guessed, Blargmuffin is not a word. People who use non-words have a special punishment: their characters are forced to clean ...
the tower. Indeed, you are frightened now. This is dramatic, and dark, and you must be entirely focused on what I am writing. How predictably sheeplike. Oh look, there's someone behind you.
Moving along, we get to find out about my first assignment! Well, really it is
your first assignment, because I am the one writing it and I am the one teaching you. It cannot really be my assignment, then, can it? No it cannot. The your first assignment is as follows:
Assignment 1
Write something humorous. Be creative. Have perfect grammar. Do not wipe snot on your pants.
My faithful TA is ... myself. Indeed, because I can be two places at once, and if I cannot, then I will just borrow the ego from another teacher. I refuse to name names. No, I will not tell you that I meant Power Shot. That would just be rude.