Ooooookay. I was really impressed with this piece -- you've used our advice and come quite a distance. I found personalities and fights hard early on as well, but as you write more and start to develop a style, you'll find they become easier. Who's your favorite author?
There's one thing I'd like you to do with each piece of writing you do from now on: If possible, once you finish writing it, leave it for a day. Then come back to it the day after, and read it through again -- bettering and making corrections. Seeing it in a new light, I find, lets you see things and make improvements that raise the overall quality of a post enormously.
And I think this post was quite well done anyway. Something you should watch out for, though, is repetition of words. Something you rarely see is the same word used twice to mean the same thing is close proximity to one another. Such as:
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No magic? I guess most of my magic would be useless anyway, so I might as well accept. “Well then, I guess I accept, Miss Madrigal.”
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Using accept twice, it would work better if you replaced one of those 'accepts' with another word of th same meaning --- if you struggle, try using an online thesaurus.
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No magic? I guess most of my magic would be useless anyway, so I might as well play along. “Well then, I guess I accept, Miss Madrigal.”
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And here:
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As the warrior fell the hundred feet to the ground, he realized he didn’t have a chance of surviving the fall unless something caught him and slowed his descent very soon. Luckily, Dorphaen was flying under the battle and had someone riding her, watching to see who would fall. The red dragon caught Incathuga on her back and made a soft landing right before Avello did.
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Instead of, perhaps, simply stating the fact that 'Luckily, Dorphaen was flying under the battle and had someone riding her, watching to see who would fall' you could show the fall from Incathuga's point of view -- having him hit the dragon first, and then letting him explore the situation he finds himself in, which would me inkeeping with the very in-character aspect of the post.
I'm trying to make you explore new aspects of writing, building up new skills. Do these, (and don't hesitate to fix anything else you find!) and I'll set you your next assignment ^__^.