Alrighty. We're going to work on Telling Sentences vs. Showing Sentences now.

Which of these sounds better to you?

"He was sweaty. His eyes burned. He could hardly breathe as he turned the corner."

OR...

"Sweat dripped from his brow, not doing much to cool him off despite its purpose. The grease from his hair mingled with his sweat and dribbled into his eyes, causing them to burn, and as if things couldn't get any worse, his asthma made it hard to breathe as he ran."

Unless you are mentally impaired (which I'll assume you're not), the obvious choice is the second one, which is a Showing Sentence. As you might've guessed, the top choice is a Telling Sentence, which only TELLS us what's happening. A Showing Sentence SHOWS us what's going on, as in, it paints a picture in our minds.

Now... for your next lesson, we're going to work on this. Have your character wander about the Dome out of boredom or hunger, or something of the like. Eventually, have him stumble on a door that leads him to a huge hedge maze under a deep overcast sky. At the entrance to the maze, your character sees a small glowing orb of light which then dashes into the maze. A voice from above calls out to your character, telling him to follow the orb; your character does so. The orb will lead your character through the maze. Throughout the maze, the hedges are trimmed in decorative ways, and many different types of animals frolic in the hedges. The orb also has it's own personality, giggling and jumping about like a fairy.

Your job as a writer is to describe ALL of this with as many showing sentences as you can. Be sure to include how your character reacts to all of this.

I'll let a few telling sentences slide, but try and be as intricate with your wording as possible. End your post with your character emerging at the end of the maze where he finds a huge fountain.

Oh, and by the way, a hint with writing showing sentences is to avoid linking verbs, e.g., words like be, am, is, are, was, were, has been, are being, might have been, etc.

Remember, if you need any help at all, I'm a PM away.

__________________

There are no stupid questions, but there are a hell of a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Simply kickass sig by P.
UPA Chief. Have a puppy, too.