Okay. I'll leave you a review.

-Character Development-
Pretty good so far, although I haven't read a lot of your past stuff you've written, I believe I've seen enough to develop a good grip on most of the characters. Some of them are not mentioned quite enough to give a person enough insight on them, but since this fic is obviously just beginning, there's no reason to patronize any one character for lack of depth. You have an incredible gift for displaying emotion more than any other plus in your story. As I've written before, parts of this made me cry. It takes a lot for a person to do that with stories. The detail of the encounters and interaction makes them believable, beyond any doubt.

There is also a delicate balance between making the people and places believable and yet keeping the fantasy world intact. You seem to have that balance very well-placed. I find one thing a bit puzzling. Blitz assumes that Eka is a Christian when she mentions this "True God." You would think that he would not accept that as a fault, since diverse religions would refer to each of their own gods as true. It could be that I'm overlooking something, or that it's simply an instant response on his part. It's also strange that she is referred to as Christian and yet, obviously does not act like one. I'm sure this is a part of your plot, but it just seems awkward to me.

-Plot-
This I can't really say much about, as I'm not sure where you're going with it. I feel like I've read this before for some reason, but that can't be as you're posting for the first time, I believe. I can say that I don't know why Blitz would ask such a thing from his wife. I've never heard of that sort of proof before. His attitude changes from "loving" or at least seemingly, to cold in moments, and he regrets it the instant after it takes place, even though he had every chance to stop it. That I don't understand.

The relationship portrayed between Viscen and his "niece" is very cute and well-portrayed, and I'm curious as to how long you've used these characters as your own, if they are all your own. I recall you making references in the beginning of this thread to Safer and Bloodsword. And I'm also curious as to when this takes place, since I remember reading another thread that involved Blitz being a spirit, but can't find it for the life of me.

-Grammatical Expertise-

From what I can see and I'm about the same level as you, or so you've claimed, you have a good grip on vocabulary and using it correctly. I never doubted you in this area. There may be one or two places where a comma or semicolon should be inserted instead of something else, but I'm certainly not going to point anything like that out, especially with no excess. There is also an instance or two where you use "?!" as an exclamation, which is technically not correct, but since you use it for emphasis, I won't bug you about that, either. All in all, it is a great variant of the English language, and good sentence forming.

All in all, a very enjoyable read, and I look forward to more, and forgive any mistakes I’ve made in this review, since I’m sick and I can’t think very well.

__________________
Thanks to Alti... HAH. ... Sorry. Selene, Mark, Raziel, Arlen and Kate