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Old 08-21-2007, 06:19 AM
southern belle United_States southern belle is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Texas
View Posts: 5,622
Re: The Noble Exhumed -- Nightmares Pile Like Bodies

Well, Shade, I have sat here reading these works of yours on this last page. My overall opinion is that your writing is always very beautiful... but, on occasion at least, far too confusing. Often I'll find I like certain individual phrases, or lines, or even stanzas, of a work, but can't make heads or tails of the piece as a whole. Perhaps it is just that it's late and I have troubles with interpreting your work... but it's something you'll want to be careful of. It's easy to become too lost in pretty phrases in abstract wording, and lose your meaning somewhere in it all.

I really, REALLY liked "Two to One, Revisited". It was a beautiful story, wonderfully told. I loved the change throughout it, as the character grew and morphed from his thoughts and his experiences. Your imagery in it is amazing (that would be one of your strong points, I've noticed). And I really enjoyed the final line, "There was a prayer, then, from the now-white Devil, that everyone would kneel beneath the tree." Very simple, but amusing and meaningful. Nice job.

I hope you don't think I was too harsh. I really, really enjoy your work. ^_^ *tosses Shade a brownie* Keep writing.
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