Quote:
Originally Posted by Majora the Zora
I changed his thoughts to italics and split the paragraphs so he had only one thought or line of talking paired with each line of action. If I only had action, thought, or speech in each paragraph it would be a lot of one or two sentence paragraphs, and I think those are a bit worse than walls of writing because it would have too much scrolling.
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The short paragraphs are a bit easier to read and follow than those walls of writing. You can easily lose your place in some of those. <_<
Here's your next assignment:
Upon arriving, Incathuga will find that the gates of the Dome are inexplicably sealed. Discovering that they are too strong to break down, and that their smooth design doesn't allow for any climbing, he must become more creative and find another way to enter the complex, which has all sorts of aggressive creatures patrolling about, and other sorts of dangers he may have never encountered before. End your post with him finally making it inside. 600 words minimum.