
08-14-2007, 12:29 PM
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ZU Angels... back in black.
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Re: [Altamira] Mer's Training
Great work! The only thing I have to say (as I saw no real errors ^_^) is that writing from a first-person perspective may not mesh well in roleplays and battles with others here who use a third-person perspective. But, for now I won't bother you to change anything about it, and we'll just see how it works out. The first-person style would always work well for character fiction pieces, if we find that it doesn't mesh well enough for anything else. ;]
Here's your next lesson:
Have Mer look around the lobby and adjoining halls, describing all the people and things she sees; the Dome has a few constants about it, but many things about its appearance seem to differ from person to person. Give us a picture of what it all looks like from Mer's eyes.
As she's looking around, taking in the sights, she should catch sight of a small elf floating up in the rafters, held up by a large balloon. The elf should wave at her, trying to catch her attention, and when he has it, he should fly off, expecting Mer to follow. Have him lead her through the twisting and shifting halls of the Dome until they come to a room filled with magic-users locked in one-on-one practice battles, and end your post there. Be creative with what she sees and what happens while following the elf in the halls.
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