Quote:
Originally Posted by Stoopidmahn
It's pretty good, but it could be longer, and have a bit more detail. That's kind of hard in a comedy, but you could work on Character develpoment. I also don't really like how it's like *Beats the level* because most fan fiction is like a game, but more like real. My suggestions: Work on all that, and it will be near perfection.
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Thank you! Thank you very much for giving me good constructive critisim.
It's short because... well... the level is short and it's hard to make the chapters long, but i'll try to make it longer and more detailed.
Thank you Stoopidmahn, for the constructive critisim, I definatly will use it.
