Alright, looks much better. Good job. You'll be an intermediate, so nip on over to the homeroom and check out your first assignment. You'll actually need to get inside the dome first, so I think I'll go ahead and suggest an extra fifty words devoted to that--you don't have to, this isn't an order, but that assignment was technicaly designed for someone already in the Dome.

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[Graphics by Me.]

"Get your facts first, and then you can
distort 'em as much as you please." ~ Mark Twain