Okay, I'm going to point out that putting Author Notes in between the story text will turn off a lot of readers because they don't want to read some sort of explaination. If you could do that in the story itself then that would be a lot better.

If you are going to tie two different games together, maybe explain what goes on in each of those worlds. I'm not a Metorid person and don't know much about it; giving some information based on those games would be useful.

Also, if you are going to be using an unknown characters name, it's best to describe what this character looks like, if it's a disguise, where he/she had come from, don't really name him or her until you need to, etc. It will give readers a feel to the character even if the appearance changes later. Lots of descriptions go a long way.

I hope that helps some. ^.^

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