06-25-2007, 05:08 PM
|
|
|
Re: [Safer] Crogon's Training
Very good! Just one thing I want to mention before you move on: Quotation format. Dialogue should have its own separate paragraph from the rest of the piece, for starters. Example:
Instead of:
Quote:
|
Orysius jumped up, avoiding the slash from his pupil, and knocked Seraven down, then putting a foot on Seraven's chest. "Really, now?" he said sarcastically, keeping his foot solidly placed where it was. "Because I thought that you were ready to learn this sort of thing." Seraven grimaced. "Yes," he replied, "but I can't move that fast!"
|
It would be:
Quote:
Orysius jumped up, avoiding the slash from his pupil, and knocked Seraven down, then putting a foot on Seraven's chest.
"Really, now?" he said sarcastically, keeping his foot solidly placed where it was. "Because I thought that you were ready to learn this sort of thing."
Seraven grimaced. "Yes," he replied, "but I can't move that fast!"
|
See how I divided the dialogues into their own sections? Try doing that next time. Anyway, move on to lesson one. 
__________________
There are no stupid questions, but there are a hell of a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Simply kickass sig by P.
UPA Chief. Have a puppy, too.
|