Interesting, Hero. Seems to be a good storyline.

However, you should do some stuff to improve readability.

1. When you do action lines, like:

Navi smacked Link on the head.

Either do this:

Navi: *smacks Link on the head*

or

Navi smacked Link on the head.

The second one is preferable, because it looks better.


2. Put a space between each line of dialogue.

That's all. Good job; I'll wait for more.

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My OOT Parody Thread. "Chapter 68: The Shadow Temple, Part IV- It's Hard to Get a Tan When There's No Sun Anyways" has been posted 4/13/08.
[Best Parody Fic S07/W08]