Thanks! (EDIT: the above comment was deleted.)

Just so you know, I've already written seven chapters of this parody, and I've been posting them regularly on another forum. I'm not going to post them all at a time here, but I'll update at a quicker pace so I can catch up here. Here's chapter two.

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CHAPTER TWO: PREPARATIONS
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Mido stands in front of the entrance to the Deku Tree. As the three Links try to get around him, he moves and blocks their way.

Black: Okay, no biggie. Distract him, and I’ll go take a rock, get behind him, and-

Mido: STOP!

Black: …Too late.

White: Mido, I know you enjoy being an ass, but we have to go see the Deku Tree.

Mido: WHAT? Deku Tree call YOU not ME? How this HAPPEN?

White: I don’t know, stop yelling.

Mido: You no PASS if no have SWORD and SHIELD!

White: How come?

Mido: Too DANGEROUS without SWORD and SHIELD. Big scary MONSTERS and STUFF!

Navi: What kind of monsters?

Mido: Big PLANTS that SPIN around much!

Navi: …Screw you.

The four go up to the nearby shop.

Kokiri Girl: Hey! Talk to me!

White: Uh, sure. Hi, how’s it going?

Kokiri Girl: Isn’t that awesome? You’re talking to me!

White: Yeah, that’s just great.

Yellow: Whatcha doing up there, anyways?

Kokiri Girl: I climbed up here with a ladder, and now I can’t get down, so I amuse myself by making people talk to me.

White: Well, okay then…

Kokiri Girl: Hey, any chance you could throw some food up here? Like a hot dog? Or maybe even a potato? …Man, no one ever listens to me…

The four enter the shop

Yellow: Hi, we’d like to buy three swords and three shields.

Storeowner: That will be *falls down, jumps up again* impossible, because *falls down, jumps up again* this store sells shields *falls down, jumps up again* but not swords!

Yellow: Oh, poo. How much do the shields cost?

Storeowner: 40 Rupees *falls down, jumps up again* each!

White: Okay, I have enough. * pays storeowner * But come on, you seriously don’t sell swords?

Storeowner: Nope! * falls down*

White: What’s in that room behind you that’s labeled “the room that sells stuff that’s actually useful”?

Storeowner: * jumps up again* Nothing! *falls down *

Black: Okay, distract him, and I’ll take a rock and…

Navi: Shut up, Black! Listen, storeowner, you better open that door or… something bad will happen.

Storeowner: Nope! *falls down*

Navi: *sighs*Okay, fine, Black, we’ll distract him. Hurry up.

Storeowner: Wait, you’re *falls down, jumps up again* seriously going to do that?

Navi: I don’t know, you wanna wait and find out?

Storeowner: Fine! * falls down, opens door behind him * We have bazookas for 5,000 Rupees, bottle of Advil for 4,200 Rupees, a hot dog for 3 Rupees, a sword for 300 Rupees, an industrial-strength condom for…

White: The swords! We’ll take three! Here’s 900 Rupees.

Storeowner: *jumps up again* All right, wait here, and *falls down, jumps up again*I’ll go get it for you. *falls down, goes to the backroom *

Yellow: Hey, guys, you know what rhymes with Deku Tree?

Navi: What?

Storeowner: Here are the swords.

White: Awesome! Thanks!

Everyone leaves, except for Black

Black: So when you say “industrial strength”, you mean like…

White: Black! Hurry up!

Black: Coming! leaves
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Any comments or constructive criticism is welcomed. I won't update again until tomorrow.

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My OOT Parody Thread. "Chapter 71: The Shadow Temple, Part VI- Jailbreak!" has been posted 12/14/08.
[Best Parody Fic S07/W08]