Originally Posted by LadyElvenarcher

Okay, the first thing I noticed was her weight/height ratio. I'm about 5'6", and I definitely weigh much more than 79 pounds. If I weighed 79 pounds, I'd be dead. A more appropriate weight for a 5'6" female would be somewhere between maybe 120 and 145 pounds, depending on how big her bone structure is and how muscular you want her to be.

Next, I know you mentioned something at the beginning about you using FFX references, and I know you didn't completely rip off one of the characters, but I'd still like to see more originality in this character. Generally, I discourage using copyrighted material to make a character, even if it's just for the character's background. It's just a thought.

As far as her strengths and weaknesses go, I'm not entirely sure what you mean when you say she weakens when she thinks about something other than summoning. Does that mean she has to constantly be thinking about summoning in order not to be weak? Is she not allowed to think about food or sunshine or dreams or other people? And when she is thinking about summoning, does that mean she's just got her aeons fixed in her mind? Or she's actually thinking about the act of summoning? Explain that, please. Also, that whole flower thing really struck me as too powerful for a starting character. A beam of light that acts like lava? And dissolves skin and bones in seconds? Yeah, too powerful. Either tone it down or get rid of it completely.

Next, since she's a summoner, why don't you elaborate on what she summons? Yes, I know you've said she summons the aeons from FFX, but that, to me, borders on copyright infringement. Being more original never hurt anybody. Either way, you need to describe her summons--what they look like and what they do. Not everybody has played FFX, you know.

As a general thought, please, please, please, PLEASE expand the bio and the personality section. Delve into your character and why she is the way she is. The bio itself was rather cliche and boring, to be honest. Try to spice it up a little, and insert more original thoughts and ideas.

That's about all I can tell you for now. Try fixing things. Oh, yeah, and one last thing. Please run this through a spell-checker, at least. A profile is much easier and more enjoyable to read when it's grammatically correct.