I find your writing to be very good. I'm not sure if you were going for a surreal effect throughout the entire piece so far, but that's what I feel when I read it, as if it could almost be real, but there's a thin layer of fantasy blocking it. I enjoyed your use of hypnosis and spirituality (I found some in accuracies in your dealings with hypnosis, but I'm an obsessor of the weird and I'm pretty sure noone else will notice.) I look forward to reading this to its end. IMHO there could be a little more character development, but that's just me.

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