Re: the first chapter of a new sci-fi story made by me
ok here's chapter two, please reply and tell me what you think.
Chapter 2
Chun’s story
The room felt small even though he was on a giant military ship, he is Chun, and he was on a giant military ship on its way to the next battle. He had gone to his bunk which was one very small room, all that was there was a bunk bed, two small tables and one light. Chun just sat on his bed looking out of into space through the small window inside of his room. He thought of stuff that had happened in the past, how after Gandor had been shot how the guy with the laser sword had thrown some sort of nock-out gas at him, how when he woke up the guy with the laser sword was gone, and how Gandor’s body had disappeared with him, how he had ran to a ship and taken off into space only a few minutes before the space station blew up, oh how much had happened in between then and now, he reflected on these things until someone came inside of his room, it was his bunk mate cadet Bard, who at one time was a heathian soldier is now a gorzordian soldier, he could tell that Chun was in deep thought, he said “hey” quietly just to let Chun know he was there, Chun thought about how he had met Bard, it was quite a long time ago, it started after Chun had landed the ship that he escaped from the explosion in, on Gorzord. How he saw a merchant selling the laser-sword thing that he had seen at the space station, he was so interested in this device that he used what little money he had to buy it. Oh how he wished that he had known how to use it when the Heathians invaded Gorzord, how he might have prevented the Heathians from slaughtering thousands of innocent citizens and being captured and being sent to jail. How a heathian was bringing him food and how he had struck the heathian across the head. How he had grabbed his equipment and snuck onto one of the heathian army shuttles. How after a long while the ship had landed on some giant ball of metal that acted like a small planet, it thrived on its artificial air and gravity. He had snuck over to a tower where he conducted a little bit of sabotage; he set up a computer on the tower to tell the security turrets to fire at anything that moved. There was chaos on the mechanical planet when Chun had done this, soon after though a squad of Heathian robots flooded the room, Chun remembered reaching for his blaster but pulling out the laser sword he had purchased. He didn’t have time to switch weapons so he turned on the sword, the emitters of the sword gave out a blue beam of energy that surrounded the metal bar, Chun charged the robots swinging his sword like a mad man, next thing he knew he stood upon a piece of one of the robots while pieces were all over the room, not a single robot was still in one piece. Chun sighed and thought about what had happened after that, how the guy with a laser sword that had “killed” Gandor walked into the room, he turned on his laser sword, Chun attempted to fight him but he had only just started using it and never faced combat such as this, he only remembered swinging his sword in so many ways and suddenly being on the floor, and then someone’s foot hitting his face, he remembered waking up in a cell where he saw Gandor smiling at him saying “good day, old chum” Chun remembers being so surprised that Gandor was still alive he almost would’ve hugged him, but Gandor ruined this moment when he said “we need to come up with a plan, they plan on feeding us to a mechalion” Chun remembered planning something with Gandor, but they always would find a way that would screw it up. Soon enough they were brought to the mechalion Chun remembers running for his life and running into a heathian holding an electric bar. Chun picked up the electric bar and tried hitting the mechalion with it, it wasn’t working so he ran when he remembered from school, a mechalion’s weak spot is on his chest, Chun ran over to the giant beast and threw his electric bar, now electric spear, at the mechalion’s chest, there was a shriek of pain then dust from the floor shot up as a huge body hit the ground, for a few seconds no one could see anything. When the dust cleared Chun finally looked at where he was because he hadn’t before, he saw that he was some planet that he didn’t recognize, also he saw that he was in an arena, the seats of the arena were filled with heathians screaming in fury of the Gorzordians actually winning the fight. This was meant to be an execution so they sent out a battalion of heathian robots. Chun remembered being in despair for a few moments as he thought he was about to die, when out of no where there was an explosion then gorzordian warriors flooded the stadium Heathians were running for their life’s as blaster fire went everywhere. Chun couldn’t figure out what was going on, he could remember a hand grabbing him and tugging him to run a certain way, he didn’t have any choice and he was tired so he ran with the hand, when he got out of the stadium he could clearly tell that this was a gorzordian soldier, he kept running until he got inside some shuttle where they put him in a med-bay, he remembered falling asleep, and then waking up and no one being around, he half shouted “hello” the only reply was his own echo. He came to the bridge where a button was blinking, he pushed it and a hologram appeared in the holo-generator, in the hologram Chun remembered that it was a heathian general; he went by the name of Gohen. He remembered the hologram saying that he had sent a bunch of assassins on the ship to kill everyone but him, he said that he needed a little laser sword practice and that he was going to duel with Chun and that’s why Chun is still alive. He said that the ship was going to make a rough landing on his home planet of Gorzord. Chun was alarmed by this since he had only fought once with a laser sword. He remembers crashing into the planet and getting out of the ship, he remembers a laser sword being thrown at him and him catching it. He remembered Gohen’s figure coming out from behind a building, he remembered a fight that was hard for Chun to remember, he remembered getting a lucky slice on Gohen and him falling to the ground. He remembered Gohen saying that they would battle again and then he saw Gohen turn into a pile of green goop. Chun remembered searching for a ship or something he could use to escape the planet, he took a good look at what was left on the planet, he saw that most building were now rubble and he saw that nobody was around, which made himself ask the question “why did all the heathians leave?” but he looked through different building until he went inside one where the body of a heathian lay, he checked if the heathian was breathing, he was but barely, Chun dragged the heathian to a hospital where droids that took the place of doctors were still working, he let the robot tend to the heathian. When the heathian came into consciousness he looked kind of confused, he saw Chun and tried to figure out what was going on. Chun introduced himself to the heathian and then the heathian said weekly “my name is Bard”.
Chun snapped out of his little dream in history when the shuttle he was in shook. He and Bard ran into the control room where the ship captain was “we’ve taken on damage from something, I don’t know what it was but we’re going to have to crash land on that planet!” Chun and Bard were in horror when they saw what planet they were going to crash in. It was yoothalim, home to the savages…