Time for a trip to IMDb! It's going to be impossible to choose favorites, so I'll just go with some random ones I like a whole ton.

House MD

House: [About a drooling patient] How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?
~~~
House: McPhearson? Horrible doctor, I heard he tortured kittens.
Cuddy: No, McDonald.
House: Oh, McDonald? Wonderful Doctor, loves kittens
~~~
Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
~~~
Wilson: Is there a light somewhere that goes on when I have food?
House: Green for food, orange for beverages, red for impure thoughts. That bulb burns out every two weeks.

Futurama

Beck: [during a concert] That song doesn't usually last three hours, but we got into a serious thing... and then I forgot how it ended.
~~~
[at a shelter for homeless robots]
Reporter: Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there'd have to be a lot of them.
~~~
[Bender negotiates Leela's blernsball contract]
Bender: Hey. You put a one and two zeros in front of that or we pass. Deal.
Leela: Bender. That's great. How much did you get me?
Bender: One hundred dollars.
~~~
Farnsworth: I'll have some Soylent Green, with Soylent Orange, followed by a side of Soylent coleslaw.
Leela: [whispering] It's the 20th century, Professor.
Farnsworth: In that case, I'll have a croque monsieur, a paella, two mutton pills, and a stein of mead.
Leela: I'll have a small injection of Fem-a-slim.
Mildred: Two chili dogs comin' right up.

Doctor Who

[The Doctor, encouraging Adam to explore the station]
The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers... or is that just me?
~~~
Captain Jack: [incredulously] Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Captain Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Ooo, this could be a little more sonic?'
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
~~~
[Rose, The Doctor, Mickey and Jack step out of a Tardis while an old lady stares]
Captain Jack: Probably wondering what four people can do inside a small wooden box.
Mickey: What are you captain of? The innuendo squad?
~~~
[Picks up Heat magazine and flicks through it.]
The Doctor: That won't last; he's gay and she's an alien.

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[Proud Nayrulian][Jordan L][Sigs by me]
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